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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601881">a gentle rage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaronidoodles/pseuds/macaronidoodles'>macaronidoodles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dimension 20 (Web Series), Fantasy High</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:33:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25601881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaronidoodles/pseuds/macaronidoodles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Wait.” Gorgug says, sitting up too fast and nearly whacking his head on the top bunk. “That’s not normal?”</p><p>“I mean, it’s normal,” Fig says. “It’s just… not very straight.”</p><p> </p><p>or: five conversations gorgug and ragh have with their queer friends, and one they have with each other</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ragh Barkrock/Gorgug Thistlespring</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dimension 20 Fic Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a gentle rage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillifer/gifts">tillifer</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's here!! this was a fun fic, thanks for the request - it gave me the chance to write a) ragh/gorgug, a ship that i think is really sweet and b) do a 5+1 thing, neither of which i've done before. hope you like it @tillifer, and thanks to @nonbinarywithaknife for organising the fic exchange!</p><p>the warning for implied homophobia/abuse is about ragh discussing his relationship with dayne, which is mentioned in section three and more in section five. it's pretty brief but just wanted to put the warning on there to be on the safe side!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>one – kristen &amp; ragh</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Ragh wakes one morning a few weeks after prom with blurred memories of the night before, a headache, and his crystal buzzing.</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: i feel like death. ugh.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????:  actually I’ve died before it was better than this</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????:  anyway, u still up for trying to start a gay club at school? i actually think it could be a good idea</strong>
</p><p>Ragh squints, trying to remember what she's talking about. Man, Ostentatia's house parties always get <em>wild</em>.</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: same dude at least you can heal yourself</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: uhhhhhhh what gay club</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????:  cure wounds doesn’t work on hangovers :((((((</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: we talked about it last night!! you wanted to start a union for lgbt students at aguefort</strong>
</p><p>He did?</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: i did??</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: yeah!! </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: well u said it would b cool if there was a bloodrush team for gay ppl and things spiralled</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: do you still want to?? i think it could be really cool </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: i mean yeah dude that would be sick!!!!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: how tho</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: idk I was just gonna ask aguefort since he’s in charge and owes the gays for letting daybreak work at the school lmao</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>hootgrowl: he let fucking goldenrod work there too dude is a bad manager</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: trueeeeeeee</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????: want to meet up at some point to figure out if we can actually do this?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ragh: sure im free today</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ragh: basrars in an hour?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????:  ………make it two</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>gay?????:  hopefully I’ll be alive by then lol</strong>
</p><p>They meet up that afternoon and make plans over milkshakes. They write a list of reasons the club should exist for Aguefort, which Kristen says she’ll get Jawbone to sign too, and then brainstorm different events and outreach stuff to do. Kristen is really good at coming up with fun events and Ragh’s been on the Owlbears long enough to know how the extracurriculars are normally run at Aguefort, so they make a good team.</p><p>School's out for summer so it takes a while to track him down, but eventually they get Aguefort to sign off on the club (he doesn’t read the list they made, just monologues about strength in diversity and arcane secrets and disappears with a flash of smoke, which they take as permission) and begin to pull things together. Over a few weeks they make a schedule for the fall semester and Ragh starts getting in touch with all the other student activities to get them to spread the word. They try to make flyers: Kristen accidentally spills the truly obscene amounts of glitter she insisting on using all over Sandralynn's living room floor and they spend most of the afternoon failing to clear it all up. They finish one and decide to just photocopy it and be done. By the time school rolls around, they’re more than ready.</p><p>They’re handing out flyers in the cafeteria on the first day back when Gorgug walks by. Ragh’s talking to a freshman about the Union's plans for trans inclusion but loses track of the conversation as he sees Kristen wave him down. “Gorgug! You should totally come along, we’re meeting on Tuesday after school and we have a bunch of activities planned, and  – “</p><p>“Oh, cool.” Gorgug pauses, looking embarrassed. “I’m, uh, not, you know, –“</p><p>Kristen’s nose wrinkles in confusion. “Didn’t you guys kiss?” she asks loudly, flicking her eyes back and forth between Gorgug and Ragh. Ragh tries not to blush.</p><p>“I mean yeah,” Gorgug says.  “But, uh, I’m dating Zelda.”</p><p>“I know,” Kristen says, rolling her eyes. “Sexuality is a spectrum though, you know? There’s like a thousand letters after the L.”</p><p>“I’m aware,” Gorgug mumbles. “It’s a solid third of the binder.”</p><p>“Oh, you <em>gotta </em>let me borrow that thing, I’m staying over at Tracker’s next week when Jawbone’s out of town and I have no idea what I’m doing.” Kristen says. “She wants to try something called –“</p><p>“You can borrow it,” Gorgug interrupts before Kristen finishes her request.</p><p>“Cool, thanks, man.” Kristen pats him on the shoulder. “And you should still come along next week, it’s open to everyone. Gay, straight, bi, questioning…” She puts a lot of emphasis on the last word.</p><p>“Maybe," Gorgug says, and then spots Zelda. "Gotta go, see you later!"</p><p>Kristen catches Ragh staring, and shrugs her shoulders. Ragh coughs, and turns back to Torek, making a mental note to ask Kristen what the binder is.</p><p>Most of the Bad Kids stop by for the first meeting, ostensibly to support Kristen but maybe a little but for themselves too. Ragh tries not to be disappointed that Gorgug isn't with them. Torek the freshman Ragh was talking to is there though, and Shellford from AV and some of the Seven Maidens and Jawbone and about a half-dozen other students. They don’t do much, just eat pizza and play some ice breaker games and talk about what people want for the upcoming year, but it feels really fucking good to just be <em>themselves</em>. Kristen tears up on five separate occasions and Ragh cries a little bit too when someone says they feel safer trying out for the Owlbears knowing there’s someone on the team looking out for them.</p><p>It’s a lot, but it feels good to be making the school a better place after so many years terrorising kids in the hallways. It feels like growth.</p><p>When the last person waves goodbye, Ragh sweeps Kristen up into a big hug. “We fucking did it!” he says.</p><p>“We did!” Kristen says, still sniffly. “Fuck. I’m so happy. Thanks for doing this with me, Ragh.”</p><p>“No, thank <em>you</em>,” Ragh says, squeezing tighter. “For fucking <em>everything</em>, dude. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.”</p><p>“Stop, you’re gonna make me cry more,” Kristen complains.</p><p>"I'm serious, if you hadn't brought me back to life and made me realise I was gay - I mean first off I would literally be dead, but I wouldn't even have known -"</p><p>"I'm so glad I did," Kristen says. "We wouldn't have this, if it wasn't for you. I'm so fucking proud of you." </p><p>"I'm proud of you too," Ragh says, and then they break apart and beam at each other.</p><p>It’s been just about a perfect day, Ragh decides, as they clear away all the pizza boxes. But, he thinks, looking at his Owlbears jersey, he feels like maybe it could have been a little bit <em>more </em>perfect. Like there's a piece of a puzzle he's missing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>two – gorgug &amp; fig</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Three weeks into their month-long tour, Fig and Gorgug lie in silence in the back of the tour bus, Fig in the top bunk and Gorgug on the bottom. They’re not fighting, because Gorgug and Fig don’t fight, but, like, they’re not not-fighting, either. It's new and weird and Gorgug hates it. </p><p> “Are you mad at me?” Fig says, breaking the silence.</p><p>“No,” Gorgug says. He’s not, he’s just – confused. Worried, a little bit. “Just – when I said you should stop making out with middle-aged <em>men</em> –”</p><p>“She wasn’t middle-aged,” Fig mumbles. “She was in college.”</p><p>“Fig –”</p><p>“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Fig says. Gorgug can’t see her but he knows she’s probably covering her face with her hands so no one can see her like she always does when she feels exposed. “I just disguised myself as someone older so I could sneak us drinks from the bar and we started talking and things… got out of hand.” She goes quiet for a moment. “Do you think Lola will rat me out to my mom?”</p><p>“I don’t think she saw,” Gorgug says. He made sure she didn’t, steered her away to ask about merch sales. He doesn’t like that Fig does this, but he knows if she gets yelled at by an authority figure it will probably only make her double down on wild behaviour.</p><p>“Okay, good.” The bunk above Gorgug creaks as she settles down into it. “I am sorry. I just get carried away with this stuff, you know?”</p><p>Gorgug sighs. He can’t stay not-mad at her. “It’s okay,” he says.</p><p>“Okay, cool.”</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>They fall silent for a few minutes. “I didn’t know you were, uh,” Gorgug fumbles for the right words and comes up short. “Umm –“</p><p>“Bi,” Fig supplies. “Or maybe pan. I haven’t figured it out, exactly. But yeah, I’m – something.”</p><p>“How long have you …?”</p><p>Fig hums. “I don’t know. I guess always. Like, I would look at cute girls on the street the same amount as cute guys. But it was always like, oh look at this cute <em>person. </em>Their gender didn't matter to me. I just didn’t realise that wasn’t normal until recently.”</p><p>“Wait.” Gorgug says, sitting up too fast and nearly whacking his head on the top bunk. “That’s not normal?”</p><p>“I mean, it’s <em>normal</em>,” Fig says. “It’s just… not very straight.”</p><p>“Oh,” Gorgug says, quietly. He’s – he’s putting some things together in his head. “Okay.”</p><p>Fig doesn’t say anything for a minute, and then swings her head down over the bunk to look at Gorgug. With his darkvision he can just about make out the outline of her horns and her long thick plait dangling down. “You good, dude?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Gorgug says. “Wait. No. I don’t know. I might be bi too?”</p><p>Fig’s head disappears and then her feet take its place. “Budge,” she says.</p><p>Gorgug obliges as best he can (the bunk is already kind of a squeeze) as Fig clambers down beside him. “You want to talk about it?” she asks, as she steals the blanket from him.</p><p>“I guess,” Gorgug says. “I mean, I literally just figured this out right now.”</p><p>“Fair,” Fig says. “I gotta be honest, I kind of thought you knew and were just keeping quiet about it like I was. I mean, you did kiss Ragh. And Zelda’s dad that one time.”</p><p>“Zelda’s dad kissed me, and that was weird,” Gorgug says defensively. “But yeah, Ragh – Ragh. That was…” Gorgug doesn’t have the words to describe it. It was like something out of a movie, kissing in the midst of battle with the world falling down around them, and then pulling back and seeing the look on Ragh’s face… “Nice,” he settles for, after an embarrassingly long pause.</p><p>Fig snorts. “Yeah, that’s gay activity, dude.”</p><p>Gorgug smiles bashfully and then shakes his head. “I mean, I guess it doesn’t really matter, since I’m dating Zelda.”</p><p>“No, it <em>does</em> matter,” Fig says, earnestly. “It doesn’t matter who you’re dating right now. If this is who you are, this is who you are, you know?”</p><p>Gorgug nods. “Yeah. Yeah. You're right." </p><p>“You should talk to Zelda about it too, whilst you're figuring stuff out," Fig says. "I’m sure she’d want to know.”</p><p>Gorgug nods again. “Okay. Yeah. I will." </p><p>“Cool." Fig says, making a fist. "Bi buds?" </p><p>“Bi buds,” Gorgug says, and fist bumps her. “Can you stop making out with overage people, though?”</p><p>Fig settles her head on his shoulder. “Mmm. I’ll try.”</p><p>Gorgug sighs, counts that as a win for tonight, and lets the rumbling of the tour bus engine send him to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>three – ragh &amp; gorgug</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Spring break spins by with a dizzying series of disasters and heartbreak. Gorgug fucks up with Zelda: Ragh spends a miserable few hours not knowing whether his mom is alive or dead: Kalina watches from the shadows. They fight demons and pirates and the shitty, shitty elves who kidnapped Adaine, and <em>more </em>demons in hell and –</p><p>And Daybreak. And Dayne.</p><p>And Ragh’s been doing better, he has, and he's not gonna lie, getting to bludgeon his abusive ex-friend/first crush is really <em>really</em> satisfying. But, like, it still fucking hurts.</p><p>They have another shrimp party that night when they all get back from hell and Riz gets back from heaven, but Ragh’s not really feeling it. He tells the others he’s grabbing more shrimp whilst they’re distracted with the Kalina livestream and goes outside to nurse a beer and look up at the stars.</p><p>He’s not out there too long before Gorgug stumbles out, already covered in shrimp. “Ragh!” he says, like he’s excited to see him even though they were literally in the kitchen together fifteen minutes ago. “There you are!”</p><p>“Hey, man,” Ragh says, and waves, trying to look cheery.</p><p>Gorgug's eyes narrow. “You alright?” he asks.</p><p>Ragh thinks about lying, then remembers all that creepy shit with Riz and Baron and the fact that they’re going into the Nightmare Forest tomorrow and decides against it. “Honestly? Not really.”</p><p>Gorgug’s brow furrows in concern. “Wanna talk about it?” he says, coming to sit down beside him.</p><p>“Not much to talk about,” Ragh says, taking a sip of beer. “Seeing Daybreak and, uh, Dayne earlier kinda bummed me out, is all.”</p><p>Gorgug nods. “Those guys are the worst.”</p><p>“Yeah. And, like, it was good to get closure like I’ve been talking with Jawbone about but…” Ragh sighs. “I guess I’m still kind of mad that I need closure, you know? Like, it’s fucked up, what they did to me.”</p><p>"It is fucked up," Gorgug agrees. "And I get it. It's not the same, but I still get angry at my parents for giving me up sometimes, even though I know why they did it now. And like, dying. That sucked."</p><p>"Yeah," Ragh says. He takes another swig of beer. "Do you think it'll ever go away? Being mad about it?"</p><p>"We're barbarians," Gorgug shrugs. "I think it kind of comes with the territory."</p><p>"Yeah," Ragh says again. He figured. It still sucks to hear.</p><p>"But," Gorgug says. "Neither of us are alone anymore. You have the Bad Kids and Tracker and Jawbone now. And me! We can try and stop new bad stuff from happening, and be mad about the old bad stuff together, y'know?"</p><p>He says it so earnestly that Ragh can’t help but smile. Caring seems to come so naturally to Gorgug. Ragh’s had to work at it: he had to learn how to look after his mom when she got sick and he’s had to unlearn all the toxic bullshit that came with shoving all his feelings down for so long. But with Gorgug – Gorgug makes it look easy. Gorgug makes him want to try harder.</p><p>(Their lips are very close together and Ragh’s thinking about prom and that kiss and how it made him feel something so powerful that the only thing he could compare it to in the moment was rage. Rage, but if rage were gentle, if it cooled instead of burned. He thinks about how Gorgug looked then, sweaty and sincere and backlit by dragonfire, and how he looked today wild with rage as he killed Dayne, and fuck, fuck, he wants to kiss him again -) </p><p>There’s a buzz, breaking the weird not-quite tension. “Oh!” Gorgug says, scrabbling for his crystal. “It’s Zelda – did I tell you, I managed to get the satellite up? I can talk to her again, isn’t that cool?”</p><p>“Yeah, man,” Ragh says, looking down. “Awesome.”</p><p>Gorgug looks at him funny, but doesn’t comment. “I’m gonna head back inside, Zelda says they’re doing a lobster coronation on the livestream. You coming?”</p><p>“Sure," Ragh says, and spends the rest of the night channelling his rage into shrimp shenanigans. It does make him feel better. (It doesn't stop him looking at Gorgug every chance he gets.) </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>four – gorgug &amp; ayda</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Gorgug and Zelda break up a few weeks before school starts back up. It’s pretty mutual: all the intensity of their Spring Break drama hadn't quite matched the feelings that were left when they returned and they'd ended up deciding they were better off as friends. Gorgug’s trying not to be too cut up about it, but it is his first girlfriend, his first love, his first – well, not his first-first kiss, but the first one that mattered.</p><p>(He thinks of Ragh, and prom. Okay, maybe not the first that mattered.)</p><p>So he’s moping. Gorgug has pretty much perfected the art of moping over the years. He’s got his hoodie up over his head and his headphones up loud blasting his emo playlist, and he’s walking over to Mordred Manor in the rain to go hang out with Kristen, who’s been moping since Tracker left for Fallinel. They’ve got a good long afternoon of alternately crying and eating ice cream ahead of them.</p><p>When he arrives at Mordred Manor, soaking wet and thoroughly miserable, however, he finds the house seemingly empty, which is odd given the sheer number of people that live there.</p><p>“Hello?” he calls out, pulling his hoodie off his head. “Kristen?”</p><p>There’s a rustling of wings, and then Ayda appears at the top of the stairs. “Gorgug! Hello.”</p><p>“Hi, Ayda,” Gorgug says, waving. “Is Kristen here?”</p><p>Ayda shakes her head, and flies down to stand in front of him. “She asked me to tell you: her parents had to go out of town unexpectedly, so she’s going to visit her brothers while they’re away. She said she's sorry, but she’ll be back later if you still want to hang out.”</p><p>“Oh,” Gorgug says. “Okay. Where’s everyone else?”</p><p>“Fig and Adaine are shopping with Aelwyn, Lydia and Sandralynn and Jawbone are having “adult time”, which Fig thinks is a sex thing but Jawbone has assured me is just lunch, and Zayne’s in the graveyard,” Ayda says, counting off the Manor residents on her fingers. “Oh! And Ragh and Tracker are travelling to Fallinel, but I expect you knew that."</p><p>Gorgug nods, reading the crystal messages he'd missed from Kristen while he was walking over. </p><p>“Fig said you recently parted ways with your paramour,” Ayda says. “I am sorry to hear that.”</p><p>“Thanks." </p><p>“Spending time with friends when you are sad is recommended by many of the books in the friendship section of the Compass Points,” Ayda says. “Kristen and Fig and the others aren’t here, but we are friends, correct?”</p><p>“Yeah, Ayda, of course,” Gorgug says, looking up from his crystal.</p><p>“Excellent. I am about to return to the Compass Points for the afternoon: would you like to accompany me?” Ayda asks.</p><p>Gorgug considers for a second. It's not wallowing in misery, but maybe it will be fun. "Sure," he says, and follows her up the stairs to the door that leads to Leviathan. It's later here, the sun casting brilliant rays as it sinks beneath, which is not great for moping but does cheer him up a little bit. As does seeing Leviathan, surprisingly: he doesn’t have a lot of great memories of this place, what with Fabian and his being sad over Zelda the first time, but it’s still a pirate city and it’s still pretty cool.</p><p>Rawlins waves at them as they enter the Compass Points. “Mistress Ayda! Your friends were here a little while ago. They left you a message.”</p><p>Ayda’s brows furrow. “Which friends?”</p><p>Rawlins shrugs, and hands over a note. Ayda opens it and reads it quickly. “Ah! Ragh and Tracker passed through here on their way to Fallinel. They say hello.”</p><p>“Oh, man," Gorgug says, taking the note, "I can't believe we missed them."</p><p>"It happened," Ayda says. "The note is proof."</p><p>"I mean, I'm sad we missed them," Gorgug clarifies. "It would be nice to see them."</p><p>"Oh, right. Yes, it would," Ayda says, leading him through the library. They wind up at the friendship section, where Ayda begins to look for a book. Gorgug sits on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest and reads the letter, smiles at the shenanigans that they seem to be getting up to. He's glad they're having fun. He misses them, though. </p><p>Well. He misses Ragh.</p><p>"Ayda," he says, looking up to where she's hovering looking through the top shelf, "Do you think it'd be weird if I said I miss Ragh more than Zelda?"  </p><p>"I do not excel in determining what is 'weird' or what is 'normal'," Ayda says, replacing a book she'd been flicking through. "I can look for another book to help?" </p><p>"Go for it," Gorgug says. He keeps thinking out loud as she flies off again. "I guess I'm sad Zelda and I broke up, but, like, we're still friends. I'll still see her at parties and stuff. But Ragh's been gone for a month now and I don't know when I'll see him again. It's just weird after basically living together for three weeks over spring break and seeing each other all the time after, you know?" </p><p>"Hmm. Logical." Ayda says. "Therefore not weird?"</p><p>"I guess," Gorgug says. "I don't know. Wouldn't you miss Fig if she went away for a long time?"</p><p>"Yes, terribly," Ayda says. "However, Fig and I are in a romantic relationship, whereas you and Ragh are friends."</p><p>"Right." Gorgug says. </p><p>"Unless you would like to be in a romantic relationship with Ragh?" </p><p>"No, I don't..." Gorgug pauses. "Huh. I've never thought of that before."</p><p>"Is that a yes or a no?" Ayda asks. </p><p>"I don't know. I guess I wouldn't be against it?" Gorgug says. He's... thinking. About how nice it felt to kiss Ragh, after two weird first kisses with Kristen and Zelda's dad. About how he dreamed of Ragh before they left for Spring Break, how it felt <em>important</em>, like they were tied together somehow. About how far Ragh's come since he's known him, from bully to out and proud friend. Gorgug knows how hard Ragh's had to work to get to where he is now, and he loves how much he tries again and again even when it's hard, because it's what Gorgug's been trying to do too.</p><p>Ragh rubbing his back when he was drunk on Leviathan. Yelling about shrimp and crabs together in Arborely. Fighting side by side across a dozen battlefields. On the pitch as the Owlbears, knowing they'd got each other's backs.</p><p>"You have not talked for some time," Ayda says. </p><p>Gorgug shakes himself out of his reverie. "Oh. Sorry. I guess - I like him. A lot. But I just broke up with Zelda and he's away in Fallinel... it wouldn't work out."</p><p>Ayda hums. "Well. Communicating feelings is beneficial to all kinds of relationships. Didn't you set up satellite technology for Tracker and Ragh's crystals?"</p><p>"Yeah." He'd done it as a surprise, so Ragh could get in touch with his mom whilst he was away and not have to worry. Ragh had cried when he'd told him.</p><p>"Then you can send him a message,"  Ayda says. "If you miss him, you should tell him."</p><p>"That's... really good advice." Gorgug says. He's <em>so </em>glad Fig stopped making out with middle-aged men. "Thanks, Ayda."</p><p>Ayda beams back. "You're welcome! And I managed it without the aid of any of these friendship books. Excellent." She glances through the window. "The sun has set. Do you want to use the telescope to observe the night sky?"</p><p>He spends the rest of the evening intermittently fiddling with Ayda's telescope and texting Ragh. By the time the arrive back through the door into Mordred Manor, he barely even feels the need to mope anymore. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>five – tracker and ragh</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>They’re huddled around a fire somewhere in the wild woods of northern Fallinel a couple of weeks into the Galicea mission, not talking. They’ve had a pretty rough day: they were making progress in Stellemere until Galicaen priest had declared them heretics and run them out of town with silvered weapons. Tracker’s nursing a nasty slash on her arm after she used all her healing on Ragh and it feels like all their hard work has gone to waste in a single day. It fucking sucks. </p><p>Ragh’s trying to be optimistic, though, more for Tracker’s sake. He cracks jokes as Tracker pulls arrows out of his back and helps her bandage her arm and cooks dinner when she transforms into her werewolf form to go and commune with Galicea/relieve some stress by howling at the moon. When she comes back, she has a look on her face that Ragh knows means she’s thinking really hard, so he just puts the bowl of chilli in front of her and leaves her be.</p><p>“Okay,” she says eventually, breaking the silence. “Okay. I have a plan, but you’re not going to like it.”</p><p>“What is it?” Ragh says, taking the plastic camping bowl from her to go and wash up later.</p><p>She grimaces. “We need to go to Kai Lomenura.”</p><p>"Nooooooo," Ragh groans. “Do we have to?”</p><p>“We’re out of supplies, we’re out of ideas – they’re the only elves who are even remotely friendly to us on this whole damn island,” Tracker says. “I know it sucks, but it’s kind of our only option, and it won’t be for long.”</p><p>“Okay, fine. You’re right.” Ragh sighs. “Promise me you won’t let me sleep with any sexy elves?”</p><p>Tracker grins. “Promise. And if I see Fethethriel I’ll turn into a wolf and scare him off.”</p><p>“Deal.” Ragh says, and settles back against the log he was leaning on.</p><p>“So is that your type?” Tracker says, waggling her eyebrows. “Sexy elves?”</p><p>“No,” Ragh says, embarrassed. “Shut up.”</p><p>“What is your type, then?” Tracker asks. Ragh glares at her. “Oh, come on, it’s been a bad day, humour me.”</p><p>Ragh sighs again. “I think my type is jocks who aren’t into me,” he says quietly.</p><p>Tracker squints. “Ah. Fabian or Gorgug?”</p><p>“Huh? Neither. Shut up.”</p><p>Tracker cackles. “Thought so.” She pats his shoulder comfortingly. “So which is it?”</p><p>“Gorgug,” Ragh mumbles.</p><p>"Adds up, Tracker says. “You have been texting him a lot,”</p><p>“I know,” Ragh says, burying his face in his hands. He’s been texting Gorgug pretty much every day, about the adventure and what Gorgug's up to and stupid stuff like debates about what makes the best quesadilla, and it's nearly always the brightest moment in his day. And they’re only able to text at all because stupid Gorgug with his stupid big brains and big heart learned how to make satellite technology for someone he loved and then upgraded their crystals as a surprise gift when they said they were leaving for Fallinel. “It’s stupid. If he knew he'd -” Ragh cuts himself off.</p><p>"If he knew, what?" Tracker asks. Ragh doesn't respond. "Are you worried he'd hurt you like Dayne did?"</p><p>"Maybe," Ragh says quietly. </p><p>"Oh, Ragh..." Tracker sighs, and wraps her arms around him. "Gorgug's a good dude, he'd never do that to you. And in the extremely unlikely circumstances he did, the rest of us would never speak to him again, you know that, right?" </p><p>Ragh nods. He knows this, knows Gorgug, who gave out flowers and sang on the first day of school. He would never hurt someone who didn't deserve it. But the fear is still there, a little, might always be. "Yeah. You're probably right. Just - it's scary, you know?"</p><p>"I get it," Tracker says. "But what did we learn in the nightmare forest?"</p><p>"Fear isn't real," Ragh says, and they both grin, remembering adventures gone by. "But anyway," Ragh says, his smile fading, "It doesn't matter. Even I did tell him, he wouldn't feel the same." </p><p>“Says who?” Tracker says.</p><p>“I don’t know. It’s just true.” Ragh says. “He’s dating Zelda, anyway.”</p><p>Tracker frowns. “Didn’t they break up?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Yeah, Kristen mentioned it when she called the other day – he didn’t tell you?”</p><p>“No!” Ragh grabs his crystal, flicking through the messages. There’s nothing about Zelda, just a bunch of memes from the shrimp party livestreams and discussions of the Owl Bears’ upcoming games. “Fuck. Why didn’t he tell me?”</p><p>“I don’t know. That is weird.” Tracker pauses, and then looks up at him. “I’m not going to say anything conclusively, but... if he's one of your best friends and he'd been texting you every day and not mentioned this, there's gotta be a reason, right? Maybe he does like you."</p><p>“You think he could?”</p><p>“Of course! You're incredible, Ragh, he'd be fucking lucky to have you." She stands, stretches. "Don’t listen to me though. Call him. Tell him how you feel.”</p><p>“Like, right now?”</p><p>Tracker shrugs. “If you want to. Why not?"</p><p>Ragh stares at the screen of his crystal. "Fuck. Okay. Yeah."</p><p>"Good luck," Tracker says. "I’m going to bed, anyway, so you can have some privacy.”</p><p>“Okay. Night.” Ragh says, eyes still fixed intently on his crystal.</p><p>“Proud of you, Ragh,” Tracker calls, from where she's unzipping the tent.</p><p>“Proud of you, too," he shouts back.</p><p>He focuses at the little pixelated image of Gorgug on the screen. <em>Fear isn't real, </em>he thinks, takes a deep breath, and hits dial.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>+one</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>They take things slow. Gorgug just got out of a relationship and Ragh's never been in a real one, and they're still separated by an ocean for a while - but even when Ragh returns to Solace, they're a little shy around each other still. Neither wants to be the first to break the ice.</p><p>It's not until Ragh goes to watch an Owlbears game with the rest of the various residents of Mordred Manor and Riz, the first one he hasn't played in years that it finally snaps. It’s a tough game and they’re down in the last minute and then Fabian passes Gorgug the ball and he <em>runs</em>, a hint of rage in his eyes, and at the very last second scores and they’ve <em>won</em> –</p><p>And Ragh is screaming louder than he’s ever screamed and they’re all running down to the pitch to congratulate the team, and he’d rehearsed what he was going to say and everything but Gorgug sweeps him up in the biggest hug and it seems like the most natural thing in the world to just lean down and kiss him.</p><p>There’s that feeling again: like rage, but softer. Like the only thing he’s angry about is that he hasn’t spent his whole life kissing Gorgug.</p><p>The others whoop. Gorgug breaks away, blushing.</p><p>“Sorry, was that okay?" Ragh asks, rubbing his hand on his head abashedly. </p><p>"Yeah," Gorgug says, breathless. "More than okay." </p><p>(Later, they escape their giggling friends and go back to Gorgug's place, sneak up to his room past nosy gnomish parents. Pinned to a corkboard on the wall is one of the messy, glittery flyers from the first meeting of the LGBT Union.</p><p>"Oh dude," Ragh says, pointing it out. "I can't believe you kept it!</p><p>“Yeah,” Gorgug says, unpinning it to show him. “I didn’t know, yet, exactly – but it felt like a puzzle piece I was missing, you know?” He traces his fingers over the flyer, the words Ragh made Kristen add at the bottom: <em>Hoot Growl With Pride!</em> “And, I don’t know. It reminded me of you."</p><p>Ragh pulls Gorgug into another kiss, and after that they don’t talk for a very long time.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yes the subtitle is slightly misleading since gorgug and ragh have two conversations but there are only so many canon queer characters and it's a 5+1 not a 4+2, leave me alone</p><p>anyway hope you liked it! note that i am personally a zelda/gorgug/ragh truther but since the request just said goragh that was what i focused on. there's an alternate version in my head where zelda and gorgug don't break up but start exploring polyamory, feel free to imagine that if you prefer!</p><p>kudos and comments are always appreciated. also please go check out the rest of the fic exchange works, they're all bound to be incredible and i'm excited to read them!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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